Saturday, December 8, 2012

Garnishing Pity Through (a)Social Networking

If there is one thing that people love about the internet, it's the fact that the internet makes it very easy for a person to complain.  Whether it's about one's life, about the state of the world, or about other people, there's no other place to complain quite like the internet.  I have found that (a)social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter make it all too easy for one to complain about the perceived realities of one's life.

There are winners and "losers" in the world.  Winners tend to have a positive outlook on life.  Oftentimes, instead of complaining, they focus their energies into creating something and changing their life.  If life deals them an unsavory hand, the winners will oftentimes go make sure that they can change their life. 

"Losers" on the other hand (a word I don't care for much, but it fits in this context), complain about life.  No matter what happens, there is always something negative which can possibly bring them pity from others.  When things get rough, these people often will complain to no end about it.  When there is an opportunity to get out of the hole that the complainer is in, they don't always climb out, but instead they find that (a)social networking sites and the internet as a whole is a therapeutic place to complain.  However, their complaining oftentimes gets drowned out by the complaining of others who also lament their lot in life.

My Experience with this on Facebook

When I left Facebook, I noticed that many of my "friends" were very negative about their lives.  Not just about one issue, but about everything that can be imagined.  Oftentimes, being negative on Facebook brings attention.  One of my "friends" used her negativity to garnish sympathy from others.  Oftentimes (about once every couple of months) she would state "I am going to get rid of people on my Facebook unless you tell me you want to be friends still."  This was her way of crying out to the world for attention.  Her life has, in many ways, stagnated since she began Facebook.  She gets what she wants out of site and will probably never leave the world of (a)social networking behind.

I have found that people are not only overly negative on sites like Facebook, but all over the internet.  Many internet forums are rife with individuals complaining about their life, the economy, and anything else they can think of.  Many people would find that their lives were not so horrible if they tried to change their lives.  Instead, they see that wallowing in self-pity is a lot easier for them than making their life better.  I have seen internet forums were people have pretty much given up trying in life because other people who complain constantly could not or did not get ahead in life.  I have been to websites where a person who does get ahead and succeed in life is called a liar or a bragger, and where the complainers say that he/she is an "anomaly" and one should "not expect similar results."

Facebook is a prime play place for complainers and those who are not happy with their lives.  Now, let me say not everyone on Facebook is like this, and some of my friends on the site were pretty positive people.  However, as a whole, I found there was a lot more negativity on Facebook.  Whether it was in the form of politics (the world is going to hell) or in the form of "my life is awful." 

One issue that I often see that is apparent in people who are upset about their lives is that they oftentimes believe that life is "randomly generated."  Many people hope that tomorrow will bring them better luck or an opportunity.  Instead of trying to seek out opportunities, many individuals instead just wait for them to appear.  Sadly, opportunities rarely just come about.  Oftentimes opportunities are created. 

For those who are on Facebook, opportunities seem to come less often.  Why?  Because, sitting on Facebook is a very passive way to live life.  Instead of actively trying to better your life through learning, doing things, creating, and engaging in the outside world, the Facebook obsessee is living his/her life through (a)social networking.  Opportunities rarely manifest themselves when one is busy (a)socializing through Facebook.  Living a passive life is not going to bring one much success.  Living life through Facebook and the internet is perhaps the most passive life one can live.

A winner's outlook on life is generally positive.
Whining on the internet does not do anyone any good.  The whiner only convinces him/herself more that he/she is powerless and can not change their life.  Those who see others whining are often compelled to do the same.  By beholding such whining constantly, we feel down on our own lives.  If one constantly reads things that are negative about life, they will undoubtedly start to develop a negative attitude of their own.  I believe this is one reason why Facebook seemed to become a more and more negative place right before I left it.  I found that I often felt angry at myself for spending time on the site.  I would think about the negative aspects about it later.  I become judgmental, angry, and sometimes lethargic about life when I used the site.  It was only when I let go that I really saw my life start to change.  Leaving Facebook alone won't change your life.  A new attitude is important.  Getting rid of the negativity will help.  In fact, if you are trying to become a more positive person, you should probably leave Facebook.  The site is rife with negativity that will consume you.  Spend a week off the site.  I am sure you will notice a difference.


  1. I am a new mother and a former user of Facebook. Honestly, the crap I saw on there disgusted me. I had a "friend" constantly complain daily about her pregnancy and how difficult it was (of course it is! but seriously!?) as her status updates, fishing for attention and sympathy. She was 2 months pregnant and posting updates about how much her back was aching, and then would post photos of herself against a wall, with her back arching back like a gymnast, just to prove how pregnant she was. Of course your back would hurt if you're in a BRIDGE position against a wall! It was just comical and a sad commentary on a very sad, bored and ill accomplished life. To sit in that bile and drown in a pity party like facebook provides. Pathetic!

  2. Such behavior is common on Facebook and other internet sites. People love to complain about life if it brings them attention. If a person has nothing positive to say then many will resort to complaining. Facebook is a place where it's easy to do this. People are often embarrassed to complain or act a certain way in public or where there are 'norms'. But on Facebook, norms are broken down and anything goes. One can whine, complain or just make a fool of themselves and it's fair game.

  3. Great post! I've just deactivated my account exactly because of that. Negativity.

    I found I'd often get trolled into replying to people's politically divided posts.

    People would often misinterpret my online Facebook interactions which negatively impacted my real life relations.

    Negative! Thanks for sharing!

  4. Excellent!!! I agree totally with this article. There is enough misery in the world without having to put up with it on Facebook as well. It can literally makes me sick!!
    I would love to share this article on Facebook, but I think it will only make some people worse!!! - and extremely paranoid!

  5. "Are You Complaining About People Complaining"???

  6. Yes, middle aged adults begging for scraps of attention via Facebook is difficult to witness. I effing hate Facebook and am planning to deactivate if I can only get up the courage. It is a scourge on society.